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Ten Tips to stay mentally healthy | Tip #3 Connect with others

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Today’s third tip from the ten tips to stay mentally healthy is to connect with others. (I could go on and on about this, but the sake of this post, I’ll summarize the main point that I would like to discuss).

In both primary and in high school, I perceived myself as an introvert and didn’t really like others meddling into my business (which I’ll explain in this post later). However, there was a paradigm shift in regards to my perception of relating to others around 3 years ago. Ever since I was exposed to uni and different people throughout my life ,they way how I converse with other has changed for the better. This was also the case in terms of my relationship with my family, especially when my dad had a stroke and my friend who was in a car accident.

Over the years, I have learnt one of the most valuable lessons in life, that is even if you are the wealthiest man or women on earth, you still can’t put a price on a healthy relationship. True happiness comes from a relationship that is strong, sincere, inspirational and valuable.That is we want to spend more time with the people who we love and care for, the people who are dear to us. By investing time to build and maintain  relationships with the people who count in my life  has brought me peace and happiness, self confidence, a zest for life and laughter which are all vital for mental health and well being.

When life throws a heavy curve ball, I usually like to close myself from everyone and pretend that everything is rosy. Nevertheless, it is superficial thinking that nothing bad would come my way. As hard as it may sound, if we don’t experience the difficulties and hardship of life, it’s hard to appreciate the goods things in life that I sometimes take for granted. I remember last year when I did had a major breakdown during the middle of my honours. I was holding so much pressure and emotional stress with so many different areas of my life to the point I didn’t force myself to cry, it just came naturally. After all there is only so much one can bottle up until pressure from the bottle starts to implode and too much stress is what induces so many chronic diseases. When both the amigos asked what was wrong, I was hesitant to tell them what was going on at that point in time of my life.  I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable sharing my issues with someone outside my family. Nonetheless, I believe making that step was not easy, but eventually, I did opened a door to a deeper relationship that you could say is imperishable to me. In other words, I made a concrete decision to trust and I felt at peace. I believe you are a blessed person if you have someone dear in your life who takes the time to listen to you, recognize you for your differences. Heck, you might not even like the same things, nonetheless, you still respect the difference between your friendship and trust each other. All of these are ingredients to healthy ongoing relationship.

When talking to other people, I believe we all want to feel like were being heard without being criticized and that our words counts. More importantly we want to feel like we are loved which makes us feel important to both our and someone elses life. Encouraging words can be like honeycomb, sweet and soothing to the soul which I see this with my family, amigos, friends, people at both my church and in the Church of Glory and more.

Whether your an introvert, extrovert or both, I believe that we were all desire social relationship, even if you have experienced some negative relationships. We want to share our words, time with others who enjoy your presence. I have met people who had abused my trust and this had led me to become bitter and resentful as they moved on with their lives not even considering the scars that they left inside of me. At that time, I initially made up my mind to withdraw myself from other people so that I wouldn’t experience those unwanted feelings. But the problem with that mode of thinking was once I closed myself from people, I remained stagnant .I realized I was losing the opportunity to meet other people who change, inspire, people who I could love. At that moment a light bulb flashed inside myself head and I realized how I would regret if I continued to reject others. I don’t know when, but someday I believed I would meet people who would be ready to listen and share my pain (not to have pity, but to empathize) (which did came true). In other words, the beauty of life is that there are  people in life waiting to get to know the real you.

At the end of the day, connecting with our loved ones, the people who you can trust can open doors to happiness, joy and a sense of vitality for life. When you feel down, there will be others who are waiting because you matter. Even  the bible said that it is not good for man/woman to be alone. Therefore, we were not designed to live our lives in isolation, but rather, share the gift of life with others in harmony.

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Kay’s question: The people who are dear to my life are my family, friends and the amigos, how about you?

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3 thoughts on “Ten Tips to stay mentally healthy | Tip #3 Connect with others

  1. My co-author and I use an acronym she created as a way to help people remember some important steps for staying healthy when depression and other illnesses enter our lives: PACT. P-prayer (in whatever spiritual practice works for you), A-affirmation (reminding yourself and hearing when others remind you that you are lovable and worthy), C-community (reaching out to those around you who can be supportive and loving), and T-truth (finding someone to whom you can speak the truth about your situation). Thanks for this great post on the importance of our personal communities.

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